“…my experience with recovery helps me find my way through those uncomfortable moments back into the light.
Three things disrupted my lovely, tranquil world early in 2012, each
devastating in its own way.”
Read more about Sandy’s experience with the 12 steps and recovery
here.
How did I feel knowing that I drank and did drugs, yet Bill was the one who went into Rehab? As the intervention I had planned unfolded, I believe I was unaware of what this really meant. My basic thought at the time was that I wanted to save Bill’s life.
It had become obvious even to me that he was out of control. I knew he was drinking the whole time I was at work. He was driving to the liquor store and bars under the influence and it seemed only a matter of time before something tragic would happen. I, however, was still able to go to work and I had taken control of everything I could in a desperate attempt to prove that everything was okay in my house. It seemed apparent to me, Bill, and everyone else that I had no problem with drugs or alcohol, therefore, I did not need rehab though Bill certainly did. I hoped that if he could regain control, we could get back to our lives and continue to use drugs and alcohol moderately. All my problems would be solved.
Everyone has “magic words” that can produce a moment of clarity; sometimes they come from our innermost selves and at other times they may be uttered by another human being. They are as unique and elusive as a butterfly but in every human there is an understanding of life and survival waiting to be heard.
When the interventionist said the magic words: “We know what’s been going on.”, the lie I had been living just fell apart. My life was like a castle of sand held together with gray tape and old 2 x 4’s; it just couldn’t last. The horrible truth leapt into focus at that moment. I somehow knew if I didn’t grab this opportunity, something truly disastrous was going to happen. Somebody was going to die and it probably wouldn’t be me. So, when asked if I wanted to go into treatment/rehab, I opened my mouth and out came, “Okay”.
There is an intervention in every addict’s life. It is called Grace. Every minute of every day, Grace is available to everyone on earth. Whether it is received or not is a matter of circumstance. In addiction this is known as the “moment of clarity”. “Oh, my God, I’m killing myself, and I can’t stop!” The acceptance of this devastating truth, the admission that there is no control, is the springboard into a spiritual life, a life of happy, joyous freedom.
