Goodbye to my Barbarian. I am so glad that you do not have to feel the pain anymore. Bill left this earth on Friday, August 9, 2013 at 11:40 am, almost exactly one month after our return from Brazil. We did not get the miracle we demanded of a complete and total cure from the cancer he so valiantly fought since March 2012 but I believe he was healed on a deep spiritual level by our journey to Abadiania to be with John of God for two weeks. I will always remember him for his relentless pursuit of Recovery and the Spiritual Principles. I will hear his voice forever reminding me and himself to “Be the Gift”. His enthusiasm and joy of living will fuel the rest of my life to continue to carry the message that there is a way out of the spiritual disease of
fear no matter how it manifests in your life. You are my husband, friend, lover and sponsor. You are my love and soul mate now and forever. Thank you digging deep with me in the incredible experience of our relationship. I will honor your commitment until we meet again on our “Rainbow Bridge” one day.
“Dig Deep in One Place”
“The beginnings of the change in my thinking are detailed in our book “Dig Deep in One Place” but the change continues today as I journey on this great adventure finding out who I can be if I just stop believing the lies of the habits of a lifetime –– that whining, unattractive part of myself.”
Sandy’s experience with recovery.
“…my experience with recovery helps me find my way through those uncomfortable moments back into the light.
Three things disrupted my lovely, tranquil world early in 2012, each
devastating in its own way.”
Read more about Sandy’s experience with the 12 steps and recovery
here.
A Gift Wrapped in Barbed Wire
It started out as a weird god’s-eye shaped floater in the left of my field of vision and turned into a brain tumor and lung cancer in a mere three days. I had gone to my doctor, who referred me to an eye specialist to find out where this irritating thing came from. Next he’s shining a very bright light into my right eye “Lookup, look down, look side to side” he asks. Then he says, “My, my, the viscous has pulled away from the orb, collapsing with the mesh that holds it. What you are seeing is the mesh becoming visible as it contracts—in other words, a floater” I ask, “What can we do about that? It’s right in the middle of where I look, kind of an inconvenience for an artist.” The good doc replies, “Well you are lucky it didn’t pull the cornea off with it or you would be blind. It could go away in three days or it could take three months to float to the bottom of your eye.” Good grief, he sounded like the phone repair guy: “Stay by your phone and we will be there sometime this year!”
“A ratty old magpie feather.”
After Bill found the ratty old black and white magpie feather on the walk at Harmony Foundation, he found at least one feather a day for nearly 90 days.
After he got out of Harmony, Sandy joined him in this discovery. We found hummingbird feathers, red-tail hawk feathers, flicker, blue bird, robin, sparrow, finch and even turkey vulture feathers. They seemed to be everywhere. Then at the end of 90 days we found a dead bird. It was the Universe saying, “ OK, you have enough feathers to make your own bird, now look up, go out from here and be the gift, help others and open the doors to understanding for them.”
The miracle of intervention: Grace.
There is an intervention in every addict’s life. It is called Grace. Every minute of every day, Grace is available to everyone on earth. Whether it is received or not is a matter of circumstance. In addiction this is known as the “moment of clarity”. “Oh, my God, I’m killing myself, and I can’t stop!” The acceptance of this devastating truth, the admission that there is no control, is the springboard into a spiritual life, a life of happy, joyous freedom.
Dig Deep in One Place: A Couple’s Journey to a Spiritual Life
“To find water, you do not dig small pits all over the place but drill deep in one place only.” —Sri Nisargadatta Maharaja
Dig Deep in One Place begins with the last eight months of our denial, delusion, and insanity and continues with our separate childhood memories. We then combine our stories for our early life together. We separate again for our experiences as we worked the Twelve Steps, and we will reconnect for a discussion of the Traditions and Concepts of Twelve-Step fellowships.
We then share our memories of the incredible journey of the last nineteen years as we have learned more about the spiritual principles and practicing a spiritual life. We continue with a discussion of how art completes the circle of unity, recovery, and service as we stand at the portals of creation, finally ready to receive.
In conclusion we have the stories of seven people whose lives have been changed by their experience with the Twelve Steps.
We did not write Dig Deep in One Place as a substitute for the Twelve Steps, for attending fellowship meetings, or for getting a sponsor to assist in understanding the spiritual principles or service work. This is not Alcoholics Anonymous. We did write this book as a supplement to your understanding of the Twelve Steps, much like listening to a speaker meeting.
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