This is the last installment of the story of our trip to Brazil. There have been some who wanted me to finish, so here it is. It was written with the notes I made in Brazil and immediately after we got home in July 2013. Of course, I cannot help but be influenced by the fact that Bill died August 9 at 11:40 am, almost exactly one month after we got home. It has been a bittersweet endeavor for me to finish the blogs I promised when the world looked so different than it does today.
OUR LAST WEEK IN ABADIANIA-Sandy
Tuesday night. Another Casa week starts tomorrow. The night is restless; we are encouraged to drink as much of the blessed water as we can so we are each up and down several times during the night to use the bathroom. At one point I hear a loud noise and realize that Bill has fallen in the bathroom. I look in and there he is sitting on the floor, there is no blood or limbs askew so I close the door and wait. When he comes out I ask, “What happened?” He says that he did slip on the tile but when he started to go down it felt like arms were around him and they lowered him to the floor on his butt as if he were on a cloud, to land sitting and unhurt. Strange things happen here.
Early morning.
When we wake again at 5:00 am, there is the moon; it looks like a happy face in the morning sky. It looks strangely like a Cheshire cat grin. I imagine the bright eyes and striped body coming into focus at any minute.
Assembly Hall–Triangle is on the far wall.
We have awakened before our agreed upon time which was 6:00 am but Bill gets the shower to work; it’s actually quite hot. It’s cold in the room and we joke about how pampered we are at home. A little bit chilly? Turn up the heat. Hot water? As much as you want—de nada (it’s nothing)!!! We storm the dining hall to get breakfast a little early so we can get to the Assembly hall and get a good seat—success! We are in the first row. As we wait, we take off our shoes and go to the wooden Triangle on the wall above the stage to place our photos of friends and ask for healing. As I stood before the Triangle with my hands on the upper sides, I realized that I had my back to everyone in the Assembly Hall. I swear that everyone was looking at my butt. I knew because as people went up to the Triangle I had a judgment of everyone in my mind. Ah, the human condition is still with me and plans to be around for a while.
The plan is that we, Bill, Kelsie and I will go together through the Second Time line during the morning session. We will ask for permission for the three of us to go to the waterfall. We are hoping the Entity will see Bill as strong enough to make the trip. The Medium Joao not only grants us permission but prescribes surgery for Bill in the afternoon session.
The first thing up as we leave the Hall is to get a taxi to take us all to the waterfall. It’s still early but quite warm. We brought our swimming suits to change into at the wooden bench. As we walk down the path, Bill holds on to the rails on either side. Kelsie is in front, Bill is in the middle and I am bringing up the rear. It’s slow going but there is no one else around so we don’t have to hurry. After we change, we continue barefoot to the falls. Bill is delighted with the simplicity of the place. We all move toward the water over the slippery rocks holding Bill’s hands, helping him to keep his balance. As he faces the falls, he makes sure he’s steady on his feet and shoves his head under the water. It splashes all over us and we can’t help but squeal and giggle like little girls. Then he does it again and again. Not exactly a silent, meditative attitude but it was so much fun! After we get Bill back to the bridge, Kelsie and I go separately under the water, then we all return up the steep path to the wood bench. As we change into dry clothes, Bill seems refreshed and cleansed. He says that it feels as though all the chemo and radiation of the last year have been washed away. As we walk back up to the gate and beyond to the parking area it is deserted so we had our noisy good time at the falls without disturbing anyone else. We thank the Entities for our beautiful and healing visit to the blessed waterfall and return to our pousada for blessed soup, lunch and preparation for the afternoon session.
I accompany Bill to the Casa for the afternoon session and he enters for his third intervention/spiritual surgery. Kelsie will meet him after and help him with his return to the pousada. I walk into the garden to write, meditate and I even nap on one of the benches for a few minutes; the air temperature is absolutely perfect and there is a beautiful light breeze. I could still hear the happenings in the Assembly Hall because there are speakers set outside so that everyone can keep informed as to what is happening inside the Assembly Hall. When I return to the pousada, Bill is sleeping and I work on gathering the photos of friends who want healing. I receive them via email and take them to the internet café next door to have them printed; then I write their name, physical address, date of birth and what it is that they want help with from the Entities. This is called distant healing and some people take stacks of photographs for the Entity to see and prescribe herbs for. Others who do not want to take herbs will have their photos placed in the triangle at the back of the stage; I am told that either way is effective and the person will actually feel something whether they know it or not. I have seventeen, some of each, which I will present on Friday morning
Early Thursday morning, I am lying in bed looking at the sunrise out my window. There is the dove sitting on the utility pole in my view. She is perfectly framed in one of the upper panels. After a few minutes she is joined by another dove—oh my, they are having sex, it lasts less than a minute, he jumps off, preens himself and flies away. She stays, looking very satisfied. It appears that this is a morning ritual for them; I remember seeing them last week as well. I laugh and get up to prepare for my day. I will be going to the Casa this morning for Revision. It is eight days after your last surgery, you are asked to go before the Entities again for what seems to be a follow-up appointment.
Today it is really apparent that this week is different from last. There are less people over-all, more Brazilians and fewer foreigners. The session starts later and there is less translation into German, English and French. In fact we wait nearly an hour for anything to get started. Medium Joao doesn’t come out on stage; instead there is an attractive woman who speaks in Portuguese. She is a beautiful woman, a gorgeous smile, blond, slim and tall. She is dressed in a long white skirt, embroidered blouse, a long white scarf, and she is barefoot. She speaks for hours and I am there for it all because the Revision line is the very last to be called. I begin to long to hear anything, anything at all in English. I have come to understand some Portuguese so I get some of what I she says. I finally get to go in for revision; it’s much like the spiritual surgery and then I’m outside into the beautiful afternoon. Bill has just finished with his twenty-four hour rest period and we have dinner at the pousada and go to bed early.
We finish up the Casa week on Friday by going in the Second Time line to stand before Medium Joao, we say thank you for your help and he sends Bill for one more spiritual surgery in the afternoon. Bill seems much weaker but we assume it is because he is healing and that is what he tells me and Kelsie.
Saturday afternoon Bill finishes another 24 hour rest so we walk to the Casa to do a little souvenir shopping. Our bags will weigh at least twice what we arrived with two weeks ago but we don’t care as they will be checked and beyond our responsibility as we travel. We are bringing home blessed water as well as at least thirty bottles of blessed herbs for friends and family, then add to that blessed crystals for everyone we can think of and we have some very heavy bags. We just have to jam all the souvenirs in our small suitcases somehow.
As we arrive at the Casa, we run into Mark, an American we met at the 12 Step meeting last Monday. We sit for a while and talk in the blue and white passageway; we are all wearing blue and white. It is a surreal afternoon; the colors are surrounding and swallowing us completely, shimmering in the late afternoon warmth and light. Bill is emotional as we talk with Mark—passionate about his story and how the 12 Steps can and do work. His face is swollen and there are tears of joy and gratitude. I leave for a moment to walk quickly back to our pousada for a copy of our book to give to our new friend. I am glad I got to leave them for a while to talk together. When I arrive back, I can see that there has been some sort of understanding but my brain puts it aside to concentrate on practical matters.
After some shopping we have a date with Kelsie for a pizza party to celebrate the end of our two week adventure in Brazil. Bill has to wait for forty-eight hours before he can go back to the waterfall for a final cleansing so we decide that we will do that before we leave Abadiania on Monday afternoon. Then it’s back to the pousada for a quiet night.
Sunday morning, our last Sunday in Abadiania, after breakfast Bill is so tired that he wants to take a nap so I decide to take my walk to the north of town since I am positive that the sing-along service we attended last Sunday is in the afternoon. My walk was lovely, no workmen standing in the road to mark my passage; it was cool and refreshing to take a fast walk for a change.
Long shadows–Leaving the Casa
In the late afternoon we walk to the Casa to make some final requests of the Entities. We photograph the empty Assembly Hall and leave a donation to the Casa in the box provided for that purpose. We decide not to stay for the sunset. As we leave, I capture an image of our long shadows as we leave through the ornate blue and white gates.
Did I want to know the future? I had asked the Entities for serenity and courage to face whatever might come into my life. Did I know then? Perhaps in my deepest heart but denial was still serving me well. Would I have acted differently had I know the stark truth? The answer has to be no—I did my absolute best, I had to believe that he was healed, that the waterfall had cleansed his body of the cancer and he was spiritually prepared in a profound way that I do not understand fully—even today.
As I write today nearly eight months since he died last August, I find myself second guessing my thoughts and trying to read more into my notes than really belongs there. All of this is in the notes I wrote during our trip and immediately after we got home.
On Monday morning, the day we are to leave Abadiania to start our journey home, we suddenly realize that we are the only people in the pousada, so I find YouTube on the internet and we listen to “Here Comes the Sun”, “Imagine”, and “I Hope You Dance” as loud as the computer will play them and we don’t worry that it will bother anyone else. After breakfast, we return to the Casa one last time to leave a request for the Entities to visit us in Colorado the next week, receive a final blessing of the Casa and make a last trip to the waterfall to frolic in the cold water again .
As we leave Abadiania at 4:00 pm we stop at a little shop that wasn’t open earlier to purchase a beautiful tiny pot for our collection; it contains a small crystal. As we travel across the country, Bill points out the window to the right and says “Look there is a UFO!” Sure enough there is a silver disk paralleling us about a half mile away. Nobody else seems to notice but it sure looks unmistakable to us, we have no other explanation.
It is a two hour trip to the Brasilia International Airport, and our flight leaves a 10:00 pm so we are early, early enough to experience rush hour in this incredible city. No one ever allows anyone any room, and never, ever allows anyone in in front of them in the jumbled and chaotic traffic. It’s a game everyone seems to play and it appears that it works very well to get all drivers pissed off at each other.
We finally arrive at the Airport at 6:00. It’s an open air building and the wind is quite strong so it is cold since it is winter in the southern hemisphere. We wander about after we check our heavy bags in search of food. Everything seems so expensive, we only want a little. Ah ha! Someone finally directs us to food court upstairs. As we make our way up there a jet is revving its engines outside the open windows. The noise is overwhelming and the smell of jet fuel is nauseating. We look at each other and sit down to watch the Brazilian men and boys gather by the windows to watch, absolutely fascinated by all the racket. Hands over our ears, we just wait for it to stop. Both of us have lost our appetites but we know we have to eat something. It is so comforting to see a McDonalds, even I can order a McChicken sandwich, McFries, and a Coca-Cola for us. A little taste of home, something I never eat at home but here it tastes absolutely great.
We board the plane and travel all night to arrive in Atlanta early Tuesday morning, and then it’s on to Denver and from there to arrive at our beautiful home in Conifer at just after 11:00 am on July 9, 2013. Our great adventure is over; it’s so good to be home.
Written with love for all of you and for myself—-Sandy—April 7, 2014